Carole Lee Wyse

GLENDIVE, MONTANA: Carole Lee (Botcheller) Wyse, age 74, passed away on Sunday, August 30, 2009 at the Glendive Medical Center, with her family at her side. Carole Lee was born March 23, 1935 in Oceanside , New York, the daughter of Thomas and Carroll (Langdon) Botcheller. She was raised and educated in Oceanside, graduating from Oceanside High School. While in High School Carole Lee was on the badminton & field hockey teams. She spent her weekends at the riding stables. She was the secretary of her senior class and a member of the National Honor Society with the graduating class of 1952. After graduation she went to work with New York Bell Telephone Company as a customer service representative. Carole Lee met Cal Wyse at the Hidden Valley Dude Ranch, in Lake Luzerne, New York. The following year they were married on August 5, 1956 in Uniondale, New York. During the winter months Carole Lee and Cal made their home in Glendive and they spent their summers in upstate New York-where Cal worked at Roaring Brook Dude Ranch which enabled Carole Lee to spend time with her family on Long Island, New York. In 1977, Carole Lee and Cal made Glendive their permanent residence. Carole Lee loved following her family to all their events. She joined her husband and daughter at their rodeo outings, her son at his baseball games, her granddaughters at their sporting events and her great granddaughter at her horse shows and swimming events. She enjoyed playing Tuesday night bingo, and liked spending some time at the Keno machines. She is survived by her daughter Pam Wyse, her granddaughters Sheyenne Roesler and Stefanie Roesler and her great granddaughter Layne Roesler, all of Glendive; two sisters Lenore Churchill and her husband Frank of Swampscott, Massachusetts, Betty Dee Foster and her husband John of Freeport, Long Island, New York, numerous nieces and nephews and her best friends, Lynn Granmoe and the Bill & Kitty Blankenship family of Glendive. Carole Lee was preceded in death by her parents Thomas and Carroll Botcheller, her husband Cal and their son Tommy. Visitation will be on Wednesday, September 2, 2009 from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. with a Vigil Service at 7:00 p.m. at the Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home in Glendive with Father Joseph Ponessa officiating. Visitation will continue from 9:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. on Thursday, September 3, 2009 at the Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home in Glendive. A Life Tribute Service will be held at 2:00 p.m. on Thursday, September 3, 2009 at Sacred Heart Catholic Church of Glendive with Celebrant Sandy Silha officiating. Interment will be at the Dawson County Cemetery in Glendive. Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home of Glendive has been entrustedwith the arrangements. Remembrances and condolences may be shared with the family at: www.silvernale-silhafuneralhome.com Carole Lee Wyse Life Tribute Service Sacred Heart Church, Glendive, MT September 3, 2009 Welcome: Master of Ceremonies Speakers: Sheyenne Roesler Video Tribute Eulogy: Celebrant “The best portion of a good person’s life is the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” (William Wordsworth) Carole Lee Wyse was a good person. Her many acts of kindness and love will continue to appear in the minds, hearts and conversations of family and friends for the rest of their lives. Carole will be remembered for her bubbly and happy personality, her many smiles and welcoming ways, her compassion and concern for others, and her love for and dedication to her family. Whenever needed, Carole always provided a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen, both as a mother and as a friend. Carole’s greatest accomplishment was mothering. It began in her twenties, when she could not bear children because of cancer. Carole and her husband, Cal, adopted an infant daughter, Pam, and a few years later adopted a three month old son, Tom. Later in life, when Pam encountered some turbulent years, Carole raised her two granddaughters, Sheyenne and Stefanie, who called her Nanny, and then became a hands-on grandmother to her great-granddaughter, Layne. Layne called Carole, Baby Nanny. Carole’s great capacity for mothering, extended to the children of friends and neighbors. Many are here today to pay tribute to this special lady who shared an important relationship with them in their lives as a mother-figure and friend. Carole wanted everyone around her to be happy and taken care of, with all of their needs met. She would not make a decision that she knew would hurt anyone’s feelings, and she was the resident mediator, as she worked endlessly for everyone around her to be happy. Carole grew up on the East Coast, in New York State, the eldest of three girls. Carole Lee, as her family and friends back east called her, was busy and involved with many activities, including brownies and girl scouts, and various sports. She was a very good student, secretary of the senior class, a member of the National Honor Society and she graduated with honors. Carole’s youngest sister, Betty, remembers that after graduation, Carole began working at the New York Bell Telephone Company in customer service. Carole was the envy of her sisters, Betty and Lindy, because she dressed up in stylish dresses and shoes for her job. Lindy, in particular, enjoyed all the clothes and shoes because she was close enough in age to borrow them when she could get away with it. Betty recalls that Carole gave her a yellow-gold heart necklace that Carole had purchased with one of her first paychecks. Betty calls Carole “beautiful” and tells that Carole dated many young men, and this went on until both sisters were sure that Carole would be an old maid. As for Carole, she and her friends would enjoy their week-ends off from work by spending time at dude ranch resorts in the area, riding horse and socializing. It was at one such dude ranch that she met Cal Wyse, a cowboy from Montana. Cal was a brand inspector, who would come to New York to work summers on the dude ranches. A summer romance began, which was continued over the winter months by a steady exchange of letters. Carole, who knitted, also made and sent Cal argyle socks as gifts. Cal returned to work at the dude ranch the next summer; the romance continued and got more serious, and a wedding was planned for September. But Cal was called back to his brand inspecting job in Montana early, and the wedding was moved up to August. After the wedding, Carole and Cal loaded up the Buick car and the horse trailer with all Carole’s belongings and Cal’s horse and headed to Montana. It was Carole’s first time away from her family and she had never even seen her new home, Montana. Carole’s mother insisted that Carole’s bedroom remain as Carole had left it, because her mother was sure Carole would be back within six months. And she almost was. As Carole told the story to Pam, everything was fine until they got to North Dakota. Cal began explaining how things had to be for his family and friends in Montana to accept Carole. It was here that the rules changed. No beer, no smoking, no low-cut shirts, no short-shorts! Carole began taking Pepto-Bismol. The bright spot for Carole in making this move was that Cal continued to go to New York and spend summers working the dude ranches, allowing Carole, and eventually their children to spend summers with Carole’s family in New York. And even after Cal quit the dude ranch summer job, Carole returned to the East Coast at least once every year. Carole always talked as if New York was really home, but after Cal died and her family thought, okay now she would go back and live in New York, Carole realized that Montana had become her home because it was where the most important people in her life lived, Pam, Sheyenne and Stefani, and she wanted to be near them. Carole and Cal’s life together set an example of a loving marriage to those who knew them and to their family. They never argued in front of others. They had common parenting goals as they raised their children and also later when they raised their granddaughters. Kathy Wanner, to whom Carole was like a mother to, observed that Carole and Cal showed each other both kindness and respect, building a relationship of love and friendship. Not only did they love each other, Kathy also says, it was obvious they liked each other. Carole was the biggest supporter and cheerleader the family had, their number one fan. It was rare for Carole not to be present when a family member was competing or involved in an activity. About three weeks ago, the Dawson County Fair was held. Great-granddaughter, Layne, was participating in the horse show. As hard as it was for Carole, she insisted she wasn’t going to miss Layne’s horse show. Pam borrowed a wheelchair from the hospital, they wheeled Carole to the corral, and she sat in the warm sun, enjoying her great-granddaughter’s showing. It tired Carole greatly, but as usual, she never complained, but was just content to have been there. Carole was Pam’s lamaze coach during the birth of Pam’s daughters. Sheyenne was her first granddaughter, and Carole couldn’t wait to get Sheyenne home so she could unwrap Sheyenne and check her out, right down to her toes. Carole was also in the delivery room with Stefanie when Layne was born. Pam, Sheyenne, and Stefanie have many special memories of times with Carole. A favorite for Pam was when she graduated from nursing school. Nurses have a pinning ceremony and Pam asked her mother to pin her. It was a proud and emotional moment for them both. Pam feels “blessed” to have had Carole for a mother. Carole was a wonderful seamstress, sewing them clothes, heavy coats, and when needed, maternity clothing. Sheyenne and Stefanie recall having one of the first models of Nintendo and playing it with Carole. Later they learned that Carole was practicing on the Nintendo while they were in school. Carol loved Halloween. She had boxes of costumes for kids to dress up in and every year would take pictures of all the kids in costume and give them their own picture. Stefanie and Carole loved carving pumpkins, and filling the yard with the orange faces. They also both loved to dye Easter eggs, and Stefanie and Sheyenne had Easter egg hunts well into their high school days. And then there were the annual trips back east. Carole showed her children and granddaughters a world beyond Glendive. She gave them the opportunity to get to know their east coast family. Carole exposed them to new places, new adventures, and different ways of life. She was able to share her roots with them. For the most part, Carole was a wife and mother. When the kids were in school, Carole did work at a few part time jobs, one with a visiting orthodontist, and then as a travel agent. And all the years that Carole was in Glendive, she and Cal always lived in town. Carole had no interest in living out in the country, it was too big and lonely for her. Carole found joy in the simple things in life. She enjoyed watching the birds in her yard, and always had a bird feeder and birdbath for them. She might call you up to tell you about watching the squirrels in the tree outside and how funny they were. Stefanie brought home a wounded mallard duckling and Carole named it Deedee, kept it in a Kleenex box, took it for walks, videoed it, and one day when the duckling grew up and left, she frantically looked for it, worried sick that something had happened to it. A couple pets she enjoyed and loved were a cock-a-teal named Pongo, and a poodle called Cindy. Carole regularly listened to EA in the AM on the radio, and enjoyed watching games shows, the Young and the Restless, and Dancing with the Stars on television. She often could be found working on a jigsaw puzzle. Her very favorite activity was playing bingo. Carole was a tea drinker, both hot and cold; she loved seafood, and was an evening snacker. Saying shut-up to someone was like saying a bad word, so instead she would just tell you to shush-hush. And Carole was known to scold her granddaughters and tell them to “stop getting fresh”. But Carole encouraged her family to be individuals and say what was on their minds. She believed there was nothing a family couldn’t handle and there was nothing family wouldn’t do for each other. One of the saddest times for Cal, Carole and Pam was when Tom died in a vehicle accident. This was a tragic blow to the family. But from this devastating time came a gift from the heart of Carole and Cal to Pam. Because she had lost her only sibling, they offered to try to find her birth parents, just in case Pam had brothers or sisters that could be a part of her life. Pam’s answer to them was that they were the ones who had changed her diapers, wiped her nose, picked her up when she fell, and they were the only parents she wanted or needed. Both the question and the answer were an act of great love. As a friend, Carole was a treasure. She was always interested in what you were doing and what your family was up to. She cheered the successes and supported you in the tough times. Her welcoming ways made you feel that you and your family were her family. When Kathy Wanner was a neighbor kid without a mother, Carole became like a mother to Kathy. Kathy ran away from home once as kids do, and the one she called was Carole. Once Carole bailed Kathy out of jail. As an adult Kathy found Carole to be a caring friend. Kathy still has lilies and hen and chicks in her garden in Helena that Carole gave to her. Kathy keeps all the birthday cards and Christmas cards that Carole has sent over the years. Kathy has a great love for Carole. Carole’s best friend, Lynn Granmoe, has known Carole for 41 years. They have been friends and neighbors to each other, sharing good times and bad, sharing many conversations and experiences, laughing and crying together. Both Lynn and Carole are from the east coast, both married Montana cowboys and moved to Glendive, both enjoyed Tuesday night Bingo, going to parades, pageants, and dance recitals. Lynn loves to dance and watch dancing, and Carole enjoyed watching another friend, Mary Thomas’, children dance. Carole and Lynn shared times at New York’s Jones Beach on Long Island. They reminisced many times about the wonderful clam chowder they would have there, only to laugh later when they found out that clam chowder was made by Heinz. Carole and Lynn’s birthdays were a month apart, and they celebrated each year by taking each other out for a Chinese dinner. No gifts, just dinner. One year, Carole was in New York and missed taking Lynn out for dinner. Lynn received six boxes of Ronzini pastina in the mail from Carole. It was a favorite pasta they both loved and could not buy in Glendive. Lynn was delighted with the gift. When Cal decided to retire as brand inspector, Bill Blankenship was hired. After Bill and Kitty and their family moved to Glendive, the two families became fast friends. Carole was like a grandma to their kids, and their daughter, Becky, especially became very close to Carole. Carole was the adult she could talk to when no one else seemed approachable. Carole was a good friend to people of all ages. The things we have mentioned today are only a few of the many acts of kindness and love given to others by Carole. A niece, Marcia Mitchell, describes Carole as “a lady” always a lady. Selfless, kind, caring, Carole was a favorite with all who knew her. We can only hope she knew how greatly she was loved and greatly she will be missed. Please remember Carole as you listen to Mike Wootan sing “The Old Rugged Cross”. Song: “The Old Rugged Cross” sung by Mike Wootan Celebrant: Carol was not Catholic. She married a Catholic cowboy, and she believed that everyone should have a knowledge of God and of what faith was about, so she saw to it that her children and grandchildren were raised Catholic. To honor that, her family has asked a family friend, Fritz Rehbein, to read the 23rd Psalm. Reading: The 23rd Psalm Closing: Celebrant Carole was never one to go to a doctor until her problem was a big one. She fought cancer twice, once in her early twenties, and she had breast cancer in the early 90’s. When she went in the hospital for the masectomy, Cal had emphysema. She put Cal in the wheel chair they brought for her and wheeled him up to the surgical floor. Just another small act of kindness and love. Her last illness was pulmonary hypertension and scleraderma, which put great pressure on her lungs and heart. During the last two months of her life, Carole was in the hospital three times. Her death has put a large hole in the hearts of her family and friends. Carole was a rock to her family and these next weeks and months will be very difficult for them. Never assume a friend wants to mourn alone. When something reminds you of Carole, share it with them. Send a note or e-mail, call or stop and visit. Let them know what a significant impact Carole had on your life and that you will always remember her. Remember the 1sts, the 1st holidays, the 1st birthdays, for at these times Carole’s absence will be felt with a fresh sense of loss. Be very present during these times and honor the memory of this fine lady. The stories Carole’s life has created will keep her memory and her presence alive long into future generations. Let us all join together and say the Lord’s Prayer. Today is an important day because today we honor and pay tribute to Carole Lee Wyse. She has touched our lives and our hearts with love and friendship, and we are aware of what an important person she has been to family, friends, and community. “Because she lived there is more love in the world than there would have been without her. And for Carole, that was the reason above all others for the gift of life.” (Tribute to M. Buber in the New York Times) The touch Carole has left on us will remain with us for the rest of our lives. Just as each fingerprint is unique, no two the same, it is the same for the impact that our lives have on others. Each of us has a unique soul, and every time we come in contact with others we leave our soul print. Carole has left her soul print on our hearts and we will always remember her. As you are ushered from your seats, the family invites you to come forward to place your handprint on Carole’s casket to remain, blend together and forever signify the impact Carole has made on our lives. This symbolic gesture is one of friendship and love to honor her life and to the belief that “a life shared is a life never to be forgotten.” As we listen to Mike Wootan sing the beautiful hymn “How Great Thou Art” let us hold Carole in the palm of our heart and remember her. This concludes Carole Lee Wyse’s life tribute service. Thank you all for being here for this important time. Song: “How Great Thou Art” sung by Mike Wootan Handprint tribute Carole Lee Wyse Committal Service Dawson County Cemetery, Glendive, MT September 3, 2009 Celebrant: We gather to say a final good-bye to Carole Lee Wyse, and to wish Carole a gentle journey. But our good-bye is to Carole’s physical presence, as Carole’s lively spirit will remain in our hearts forever. Let us move from grieving the loss to celebrating all that Carole was, all that she gave. “For when everything we say or believe or do is gone and forgotten, the who we are remains. The kindness will still reach out and touch; the honesty will still teach; the acceptance will still give worth; and a loving heart will never die.” Carol lives on in her daughter, Pam, her granddaughters, Sheyenne and Stefanie, and her great-granddaughter Layne. The best of Carole will shine on in them, because Carole gave them the best she had, and that was a wonderful gift. The following words might be something Carole would like to leave you with. “When my time comes, I want to be remembered, Not in a way that makes hearts ache, But in a way that brings warmth and joy. I want to be remembered for the happy times we shared and for the ways we showed our love for one another. I want to have the peace of knowing That the ones I love will be happy and well, That their hearts will be hopeful, And their lives filled with experiences That are rich and rewarding.” As we listen to the song “Amazing Grace” sung by a family favorite, Willie Nelson, Layne will release balloons for Carole. Layne’s first color choice for the balloons was purple, so let the purple balloon represent Layne’s Baby Nanny. The others represent Layne, Stefanie, Sheyenne and Pam. As the balloons go skyward, we want to remind Carole that as she soars to new heights, she takes the love of family and friends with her, and we wish her well on her journey. Carole Lee Wyse, you are greatly loved, and you will be greatly missed. “Go gently into that good night” Song: “Amazing Grace” by Willie Nelson and balloon release.

Carole Lee Wyse

March 23, 1935 - September 3, 2009

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Carole Lee Wyse

March 23, 1935 - September 3, 2009

What We Do

Flowers & Gifts

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Grief & Healing

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