Robert "Bobby" Frey

Robert "Bobby" Neil Frey, age 18, of Billings, Montana, formerly of Glendive, Montana, passed away on Thursday, June 12, 2008 from injuries received in an automobile accident near Billings. A Life Tribute Service will be held at 10:00 A.M., Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at the Chapel of the Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home in Glendive with Celebrant Sandy Silha officiating. Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home of Glendive is entrusted with arrangements. Bobby was born on August 3, 1989 in Glendive, Montana, the son of Allen Dale and Charleen Marie (Wetzel) Frey. He raised and educated in Glendive, attending Lincoln Elementary School , Washington Middle School and Dawson County High School. As a child of 11 years, Bobby started working shoveling snow and taking care of lawns. He had worked for Vi Berry at the El Centro Motel and later as a CNA at the Eastern Montana Veterans Home. Bobby elected in his final year of high school (2008) to be home schooled so that he would be able to continue working toward his future goals. For the past six months, Bobby resided in Billings where he was a restorative therapist/CNA for the Billings Clinic - Aspen Meadows. Bobby loved working with the elderly and helping anyone who needed help. He always knew what he wanted and constantly worked to achieve his goals. Bobby dearly loved his nieces and nephews and always enjoyed his time spent playing with them. He enjoyed swimming and floating the Yellowstone River during the summer. Survivors include his parents, Charleen and Allen Frey of Glendive; his brother, Sean Frey and his fiancee Angela Hellman of Glendive; his sisters, Dawn Frey and her fiancé Kendall Jamtgaard of Sioux Falls, South Dakota and Darby Frey of Glendive; maternal grandmother, Marlene Wetzel of Glendive; paternal grandparents, LeRoy Frey of Jamestown, North Dakota and Frances McAllister of Albuquerque, New Mexico; uncles and aunts include Barry Wetzel of Glendive, Dave and Jolene Master of Billings, Lyla and Carey Sprankle of Sidney, Scott Frey, Danny Frey, Robert Frey, Christopher Frey, Joe Frey, all of Albuquerque, Darrel and Tanya Frey of Idaho, Sandy and Kevin Stayton of Bismarck; two nieces, one nephew and numerous cousins. Celebrant Service: As we begin our time together, remembering and honoring Bobby Frey, members of Bobby’s family will be lighting candles to burn throughout our tribute service today to signify the ever-present love and memories of Bobby that will always live on in their hearts. May the light of the flame symbolize the brightness Bobby added to the lives of all those in his circle of life. As the candles are being lit by Bobby’s parents, Allen and Charlene, his brother Sean, and his sisters, Dawn and Darby, let us listen to a song selected by Charlene for her son, titled “Wind Beneath My Wings.” Candlelighting and Song: Eulogy: Celebrant “A death has occurred and everything is changed by the event. We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again, that yesterday is over, that our time with Bobby has ended. But there is another way to look upon this truth. If life went on the same without the presence of the one who has died, we could only conclude that the life we remember made no contribution, filled no space, meant nothing. The fact that the person left behind a place that cannot be filled is a high tribute to this individual. Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost, but never after the loss of a treasure.” Bobby Frey has left behind a place that cannot be filled; he has left a hole in the hearts of many. The treasure that Bobby was, now become memories to be treasured. During the eighteen years Bobby spent among us, he lived life with an endless energy. His mother, Charlene, had Bobby tested for ADHD, thinking this condition might account for his energy, but no, Bobby’s energy was just Bobby, the way he was. Bobby was always on the go, always thinking up new things to do, new goals to achieve. Nothing intimidated him, and if anyone said he couldn’t do something, he would go out and do it. When Bobby wanted to achieve something, he worked hard to accomplish it. Bobby knew he could do anything he set his mind to do. Bobby’s family termed Bobby a work-a-holic. That may seem an extreme word for someone so young, but it did seem to fit Bobby’s personality. He began shoveling snow and doing lawn maintenance when he was only 11. Bobby was soon as busy as he wanted to be once word got around that here was a kid that wanted to work and could get it done. Vi Berry, at the El Centro Motel, met Bobby when he was about 12 years old. Bobby applied for a job at the El Centro. Vi couldn’t hire him because he wasn’t old enough to legally work, but she did hire him to do some jobs around her home. When Bobby was older, she did hire Bobby to clean at the El Centro. Vi admired his work ethic and noted the fact that Bobby never came to work grouchy, and he always was ready to do his job. Vi will always remember that special smile Bobby had. And he seemed to smile a lot. Bobby took his Certified Nurse’s Assistant training when he was 15, and found he loved caregiving, especially to the elderly. During his time of working at the Eastern Montana Veteran’s Home, Bobby would work every shift they would give him, often working nights and going to high school during the day. Sometimes, if a day shift would become available, Bobby would skip school and work. This past year, Bobby was a senior, but he chose to be home schooled, to allow himself more time to work towards his future goals. Bobby was only two books away from receiving his diploma. His family has placed a stuffed graduation Mickey Mouse with him today to honor that goal which Bobby was so close to completing. Bobby ended his employment at the Eastern Montana Veteran’s Home and became a traveling CNA. For the last six months, Bobby has lived in Billings and worked as a restorative CNA for the Billings Clinic-Aspen Meadows. On his days off, Bobby would come home to spend his free time with family and friends. It wasn’t uncommon for him to show up in the evening and leave the next day to go back to work. Time with his family and friends was very important to Bobby, and he made every effort to spend his free time with them. Besides, Bobby loved to drive. He called himself a “professional driver” although Charlene reminded him there was no such thing as a “professional” driver. When with friends, Bobby and his friends would spend hours and gallons of gas driving around, listening to music, and eating beef jerky. Bobby always drove. And his pride and joy was his car. It’s the silver Infinity shown in the photo you see here at the front, and Bobby always kept that car spotless. He even carried wipes, to rub off any spots and wipe down the inside. And no smoking allowed. The only thing was, Bobby liked to drive fast. And he liked to drive at night. He said he could see better at night. Sean was afraid that Bobby’s driving would be his undoing, but Bobby would not listen seriously when Sean would voice this. And sadly, Sean was right. One of the reasons Bobby worked so hard, was to earn money to buy all the fine things he desired. Bobby liked to have the good things in life. Working as he did from a young age, Bobby always had money. His siblings found he would loan them money when they were short. Sean called Bobby his “personal banker”. But Bobby also charged them interest…10% as Darby recalls. And one of the pleasures of having money was being able to shop. Bobby really enjoyed shopping. He and Angela Hellman, Sean’s fiancee’, spent much time shopping together. It was not unusual for Bobby to see something he wanted, such as a moped, buy it, try it out, decide it wasn’t quite right, and return it. Bobby also spent his money on gifts for his mother. Charlene once received a new vacuum from Bobby. Written all over the box were the words, “I love you. Bobby”. Bobby had seen Vi using the same type of vacuum and decided his mother should have one. With all his energy, Bobby didn’t seem to require much sleep. Dawn and Charlene both talk of Bobby falling asleep on the couch and how, when he did, they would just watch him sleep. And they would listen to him. Yes, they would listen to Bobby, as he talked in his sleep. But it was not words either could understand. Dawn called them some kind of foreign language, and Charlene said it was like he was speaking in tongues. They could never quite figure it out and when awake, Bobby had no memory of what he may have said. One of the roles in life that Bobby excelled at was as an uncle. Bobby loved children and he spent much time taking care of and playing with his nephew and nieces. Bobby was especially close to Dawn’s son, Dillon. When Bobby was in school, he took home economics as a class. He sewed Dillon a pillow that looked like a boxing glove, and he put Dillon’s initials on it, “DJ”. He also made Dawn and Dillon a set of green pillowcases. But it was the time Bobby spent with them that they will always treasure and remember. Even after Dawn moved to South Dakota, Bobby would drive over to visit and spend time with them. Dillon has placed a piggy bank he has with pennies in, with his uncle Bobby, because he loves him and will miss him greatly. If you noticed the globe with the angel in it near the casket, that was placed with Bobby by Dawn. The angel was a special gift to Dawn from their mother, and Dawn shares it with Bobby today. Also with Bobby is a stuffed teddy bear, to signify the love, kisses and hugs his family want him to know they send with him. Bobby’s friends were also very important in his life. He was their leader and the one who would look after them. If they were partying or out late, it was not unusual for him to call a worried parent to reassure them that he would see that their son or daughter were taken care of and would get home safely. One of Bobby’s friends, Shyann Frank, has written a poem for Bobby. Please listen to what Shyann says: “Bobby Neil Frey We all loved you deeply, And really hope you knew. We will miss you like crazy, You were a part of our crew. Even though you argued, We knew when you were right. We never wanted to feud, And it barely turned into a fight. We knew what you liked, And didn’t care for as much. Makoshika we’d hike, You’d climb trees and such. You loved your nieces and nephew, Each in an individual way. Just the same, they loved you, More and more each day, All the way to the end You weren’t just an uncle or son. You were also a brother and friend, But either way, you had a lot of fun. We will remember you, For everything you said and did. We will always love you, For you were only a kid.” Shyann Frank. Bobby was, as his mother Charlene puts it, their “golden boy”. They loved his energy, and his attitude for success. He was a bright spot in their lives. Bobby’s uncle, Barry Wetzel says Bobby was becoming a good role model and had so much potential to yet achieve. The loss of this young man is difficult to understand. On Thursday, June 12, Bobby Frey died from injuries he received in an automobile accident near Billings. Bobby was driving his beloved car, his Infinity. Bobby Frey was 18. He is greatly loved by his family and friends. He will be greatly missed. Let us now listen to a song chosen by Bobby’s family for today, Kenny Chesney’s “Who You’d be Today”. Song: “Who You’d be Today” by Kenny Chesney Closing: Celebrant It is not the natural order of human life for a parent to have to grieve the death of their child, no matter what the age. But at age 18, it seemed that Bobby had the world before him. “Death ends a life, but not a relationship.” Charlene and Allen, Bobby will always remain your son; Sean, Dawn, and Darby, Bobby will always be your brother; he will always be an uncle, a grandson, a nephew, a friend. His legacy of gifts to you can be found in the energy that he put into his life, his goals, his work and most importantly, his relationships with you. You felt he would be the successful one, and he has been. Bobby has touched your lives and your hearts; he has made you better for it and his success will live on in you. “You will be forever changed, forever altered by this loss. And that is as it should be. The intensity of the hurt only bears testimony to the depth and meaning of this relationship in your life.” Charlene, Allen, Sean, Dawn, Darby and family, as your friends and community, we too mourn the loss of Bobby. We cannot take your grief from you, nor should we, but we grieve with you and we grieve for you. We should never assume a friend wants to mourn alone. Let us remember Bobby, and let us share these memories with his family over the coming days and weeks, to let them know that he touched our lives also, that we too remember Bobby. We do not always understand why things happen as they do. But two things in life are certain…there is birth and there is death. And both bring change to everything around them. When we lose someone to death such as the loss experienced in Bobby’s sudden, and tragic death, it can make us wonder about death and if it is truly an end or just a passage to another beginning, another place, another time, another dimension. Where has all the life energy that was Bobby gone to? We have no answers. But whatever you believe, it is important that we find hope for Bobby and for us all. Please listen to “The Parable of the Twins,” author unknown. “Parable of the Twins” author unknown “Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy: ‘Isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?’ Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy: ‘How great is our mother’s love that she shares her own life with us!’ As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. ‘What does it mean?’ asked the one. ‘It means that our stay in this world is drawing to and end,’ said the other one; ‘But I don’t want to go,’ said the other one. ‘I want to stay here always.’ ‘We have no choice,’ said the other. ‘But maybe there is life after birth!’ ‘But how can there be?’ responded the one. ‘We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us, and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.” And so the one fell into deep despair, saying: ‘If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It’s meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all.’ ‘But there has to be,’ protested the other. ‘How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?’ ‘Have you ever seen our mother?’ said the one. ‘Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea makes us feel good.’ And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and they cried. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.” May Bobby’s new journey exceed his fondest dreams. We know for us, he will remain in our hearts and be remembered always. The family would like to close Bobby’s life tribute service with a prayer followed by a friend, Patsy Fercho, playing and singing “Amazing Grace”. Please rise and join the family in saying the “Lord’s Prayer.” Song: Amazing Grace” with Patsy Fercho

Robert "Bobby" Frey

August 3, 1989 - June 17, 2008

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Robert "Bobby" Frey

August 3, 1989 - June 17, 2008

What We Do

Flowers & Gifts

Plan Ahead

About Us

Resources

Obituaries

Grief & Healing

Contact Information

365 Days of Grief Support