Harriet Carpenter

Harriet L. Carpenter, age 65, of Glendive, passed away on Monday, April 30, 2007 at the Glendive Medical Center. A Life Tribute Service will be held at 2:30 P.M., Saturday, May 5, 2007 at the Chapel of the Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home in Glendive with Celebrant Sandy Silha officiating. Interment will be in the Dawson County Cemetery in Glendive. Silvernale-Silha Funeral Home of Glendive is entrusted with arrangements. Harriet was born on October 17, 1941 in Regent, North Dakota, the daughter of Frank and Katherine (Wolff) Jung. She was raised and received her early education in the Regent area. Harriet and her daughter Kim moved to Glendive in 1967. The rest of the family eventually also moved to Glendive - following HarrietÂ’s lead. Harriet married Charles Carpenter on October 7, 1969 in Glendive. She worked in various restaurants, at Eastmont Human Services Center and also at Taco JohnÂ’s in Glendive. After her husband passed away in 1989, Harriet did volunteer work for Beginning Experience. She enjoyed baking, gardening, raising flowers, embroidery and listening to music - especially rock and roll and the oldies. Harriet enjoyed people and lifeÂ’s simple things. Harriet was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, Darwin Jung. Survivors include her daughters, Kim Ruud of Sidney, Montana and Cheryl Carpenter of Glendive; her son, Lee Carpenter of Glendive; five sisters, Sylvia Ewalt and her husband Dale, Sharon Becker and her husband Cliff, Claudia Becker and her husband Ralph, all of Glendive, Pamela Jung of Big Sandy, Montana and Lottie Lutgen and her husband Tim of Moorhead, Minnesota; brother-in-law, Fred Carpenter of Glendive; sisters-in-law, Adeline Carpenter of Glendive and Robin Jung-Schatz and her husband Wayne of Dickinson, North Dakota; four grandchildren; one great grandson, Dominic Sorteberg; five aunts and uncles, numerous nieces, nephews and cousins. Celebrant Service: Harriet Carpenter loved greatly. She passionately loved life and all the gifts it had to offer. And she greatly loved the people in her life. For Harriet, the people in her life were gifts to be treasured and enjoyed. Harriet loved her family and friends freely and wholeheartedly, without restrictions and without judgements. And this great love of HarrietÂ’s was given without any expectation of getting something in return. But she did get something in return, because not only did Harriet love greatly, Harriet was greatly loved. One of HarrietÂ’s personality traits was to assume the role of caregiver to those around her. Perhaps this began because of being the oldest in a large family of younger siblings. There were times when younger sisters were left in her care. HarrietÂ’s youngest sister, Lottie Lutgen recalls being left with Harriet and crying because she didnÂ’t want her parents to leave her. But when they returned to take her home, Lottie did not want to leave HarrietÂ’s care and had to be coaxed to go. At age 14, Harriet went to work as a waitress. Her sisters, Sharon Becker and Claudia Becker, recall Harriet taking them shopping with her paycheck in hand. She let Sharon pick out her first new winter coat, blue with fur around the face, and Harriet bought Claudia her first purse and put two dollars and orange lip gloss in it. Harriet had a knack for knowing how to make the people around her feel important. Last year, when HarrietÂ’s daughter, Cheryl, was diagnosed with cancer, Harriet had her own health issues, and was unable to travel with Cheryl to doctors and hospitals. But when Cheryl was home and undergoing chemotherapy treatments, it was Harriet whose patience and care got Cheryl through this difficult time, even though HarrietÂ’s own health was a concern. Whenever family or friends needed someone for care or support, Harriet was there to give. After moving to Glendive, Harriet met and married the love of her life, her soul mate, Charles Carpenter. Although Charles was years HarrietÂ’s senior, family and friends report that neither acted their age, as both were young at heart. A friend, Deb Vogel, remarked that Harriet was an eighteen year old in the body of a sixty year old. CherylÂ’s comment to that was that sometimes, because of her mischievous nature, Harriet acted even younger than eighteen! Harriet had a lifelong love of music and was always listening to the oldies and rock and roll. When Chuck would return home from work, the music was usually on. Their children tell of the table and chairs being pushed back as Chuck would say Â“come on Hat, dance with meÂ”, and so she would. HarrietÂ’s sister, Sylvia Ewalt, remembers as youngsters growing up, that the radio was always on and the family went to many a dance for their social outings. Both Harriet and Chuck loved a good joke and a lot of laughter. Practical jokes were played on each other and the kids, with friends and other family members included in the fun. One AprilÂ’s foolÂ’s day, Harriet made up a trick menu for everyone to select dinner from. Chuck ended up with a cake pan and a toothpick. The table centerpiece was a vase full of dry spaghetti noodles, and Harriet did some interesting things to the food that she served. Food was one of HarrietÂ’s specialties. She was a great cook and her baked goods were to die for. Everyone loved to be invited to dinner at HarrietÂ’s. The food was delicious and Harriet would get out the blue dishes and gold cutlery and serve it up in style. She was famous for her pies, especially the apple. Some of you men can probably feel your mouths watering at the thought of those apple pies. Some times, Harriet would give a pie as a birthday gift. There usually wasnÂ’t much sharing of this gift. But one birthday, Harriet made a friend, Pete Vogel, two pies, telling PeteÂ’s wife, Deb, not to let him share a certain one. Well, Deb wasnÂ’t aware that Pete decided let the guys he worked with taste this famous pie he bragged about Harriet making for him. Pete told the guys to have a piece whenever they went on break. Of course the men did and after cutting into the pie, they couldnÂ’t figure out what Pete was raving about. Delicious? What was this? Harriet had made a peel pie. The crust was her usual delicious, perfect crust but she had filled the pie with apple peelings. Harriet was known to pull this prank on adults and kids alike. There were times when Harriet would spend the day with her daughter Cheryl making dozens of pies. Harriet was the kind of cook and baker that would taste or feel the food to know what to add, recipes were not required. Harriet loved baking and sharing. HarrietÂ’s daughter, Cheryl, has come to be a pretty good baker in her own right, having learned from the best, her mom. One of the Christmas traditions at HarrietÂ’s kitchen was creating artistic, beautiful, and delicious gingerbread houses. Harriet would buy many kinds of candy to use as decorations and then invite her children and her friendsÂ’ children to help create these masterpieces. Kids loved being around Harriet. She played with them, but more importantly, she included them in whatever she was doing, she talked to them, she listened, and she enjoyed them. A grandson, Lee, was especially good at getting his grandmother to smile. Lee shared his grandmotherÂ’s love of pranks and teasing. Harriet was fun to be around, for both children and adults. She had a child like appreciation and wonder at new things and new experiences. Harriet got excited over life and it was contagious. Her house was a favorite place to go. She always had music on, and her hands were busy. Her hugs were large and all encompassing, making you feel like you were the only one in the world and oh so special. The center of HarrietÂ’s world was her home and family. When Cheryl was born prematurely, there was some question as to whether Cheryl would live. Harriet told Chuck, she was not going home without her baby. Nine years later, after delivering their son, Lee, by caesarian, Harriet made a quick exit from the hospital. The day after Lee was born, Deb went to visit her at the hospital only to find out that Harriet had went home. Surprised, Deb went over to HarrietÂ’s to check on her and the new baby. HarrietÂ’s explanation was that she had help at home and besides, the hospital furniture didnÂ’t fit her. And as HarrietÂ’s daughter Kim has said, you couldnÂ’t argue with Harriet, her mom was always right! When Chuck died, HarrietÂ’s immense grief led her to join Beginning Experience, a type of support group for those suffering a loss because of death or divorce. The love, support and understanding offered by others going through similar situations helped Harriet through her difficult journey of grief. The lessons she learned were about growth and setting love free. But HarrietÂ’s nature was of giving and she became a volunteer with the group as a facilitator and friend to all. One of the many friendships she developed was with Sue Knoll. Sue found Harriet easy to be around and loved her willingness to try new things. Harriet didnÂ’t expect anything of anyone but accepted and enjoyed you as you were. Sue taught Harriet to throw pottery, which Sue would finish in her kiln. Sue thinks mostly they just enjoyed playing with the fire in the kiln because they would also use it to roast marshmallows and hotdogs. Two creative people just having fun and enjoying a special friendship. Harriet had many passions in her lifeÂ…her family, her friends, her music, her cooking and baking, she loved gardening, her most favorite color was blue, and she looooved talking on the phone. Harriet had a passion for butterflies and angels. She loved color and found butterflies a beautiful expression of her sense of wonder at what the world had to offer. And she had a large collection of angels of all shapes and sizes. But probably her passion most shared and treasured by family and friends is, and will continue to be, her beautiful and exquisite embroidery. Harriet spent countless hours creating beautiful embroidered blocks that she had made into quilts for the people she loved. The family has brought several to display today in honor of HarrietÂ’s artistry and talents. But what is special about everything including the quilts, is the love that went into what she did. She personalized each quilt with what she loved and with what the recipient loved. Of course there is a butterfly quilt with the many colors she loved displayed here today. There is the family history quilt, made in remembrance of the Carpenter family tree. Harriet felt so accepted by the Carpenter family and would say how Grandma Carpenter always made her feel like a daughter, this quilt was a work of love. The Carpenters homesteaded in 1908 and next year will be the 100th year of having the farm. HarrietÂ’s history quilt includes log cabins with each familyÂ’s name and wedding date and the name of each child born into that house. Horses were added to fill out the quilt and named after the horses from the CarpenterÂ’s childrenÂ’s younger days. There is a travel mode quilt that was made for HarrietÂ’s son, Lee. When Harriet was pregnant with Lee, she traveled a lot by car. Chuck was sure this baby was going to be Â“his boyÂ” and he told Harriet that Â“his boyÂ” would have wheels parked under his butt when he was born and they would be there forever.Â” Harriet put many wheels on LeeÂ’s quilt. These are only a few of the many quilts made by Harriet. She also made wonderful flannel baby blankets as baby gifts, and embroidered Christmas stockings. Friend Deb remembers Harriet making a stocking for DebÂ’s grandchild and telling Deb to write the grandchildÂ’s name at the top and then Harriet would embroider the letters. Deb said, Â“Oh, you just go and do it.Â” But no, Harriet wanted DebÂ’s grandchild to have a stocking with her GrandmaÂ’s writing on it to make it more personal. Harriet always paid attention to the little things that can be so important. She would remember everyoneÂ’s birthday, and would pick up on your favorite color, a special interest, favorite food, all kinds of things special to a person that probably didnÂ’t mean anything to anyone else. She noticed what you were about and in her noticing, made you feel important. Her kindnesses and considerations for everyone were spontaneous and as natural as breathing for Harriet. It was hard not to love her. When Deb met Harriet, it was at a large gathering, and Deb couldnÂ’t help but notice Harriet and be drawn to her; Harriet would light up the room. Rod Carpenter, remembers Harriet coming out to farm during the busy times of seeding and harvest, bringing lemonade and delicious snacks. Harriet would visit with the men about the farm and what was going on. She was always learning and so interested and excited about everything. One of the pictures on the picture board is of Harriet on Pete VogelÂ’s motorcycle. She had promised herself as a reward for losing weight, she wanted to ride his Â“rice burner.Â” She got the job done and Pete gave her the ride with Harriet grinning the whole time from the excitement and thrill of this new experience. After 65 years of living, it is difficult to sum up the significance of Harriet CarpenterÂ’s touch on the lives of those around her. Her great capacity for love and her ability to make those around her feel this love has been such a wonderful gift, we can only feel grateful for the experience of having had her in our lives. HarrietÂ’s daughter, Kim, commented that she wished she was more like her mother. With all the things that we loved and enjoyed about Harriet, perhaps we all wish we were more like Harriet. She has been a gift, an experience, a joy, an angel on earth. Harriet will be greatly missed. Let us now listen to Â“I Am The Bread Of LifeÂ” sung by Tiffany Vogel Laqua. Song: Â“I Am The Bread Of LifeÂ” sung by Tiffany Vogel Laqua Celebrant: Friendship Â“We call that person who has lost his parent, an orphan, and a person who has lost a spouse is widowed. But the person who has known that immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call them? Â…Â” (Joseph Roux) We cannot put a name to the loss of a friend; we can only feel it deeply. Harriet had a special wayÂ…her friends were family and her family were friends. A couple of HarrietÂ’s friends have written a few thoughts and memories about their friend and their loss. Please listen. Pam Froom writes: Â“The one thing I can say about Harriet Carpenter is what a creative, warm, wonderful friend she was. She was a woman with an enormous heart. When you got a hug from Harriet, you knew youÂ’d been hugged. She put her whole self into that hug. She just loved people, any kind, any age, any size, any one who might come her way, always willing to help someone in need. Harriet and I met through my best friend, Deb Vogel in 1979. We discovered quickly we both loved painting ceramics, cooking, and gardening, what else could you ask for in a friend? A whole gang of us ceramic nuts would get together at HarrietÂ’s house every Wednesday. She and Deb had set up a little studio down there. It was our ladies night out. There would be six or seven of us and we would just have a ball. Talking about just about everything, and managing to create quite a few really nice ceramic pieces too. She would always provide one of her famous desserts and coffee. One particular night, Chuck, HarrietÂ’s husband, was trying to sleep upstairs above one of our Â“sessionsÂ”; it was two oÂ’clock in the morning and we were still at it, trying to finish up our Christmas gifts, all of us gabbing about kids and husbands and such. When she went up to bed, Chuck said we all sounded like a bunch of hens just clucking away in the hen house. He heard all the laughing and giggling and talking about our Â‘menÂ’ he said. She just laughed and said Â‘oh, you know we love you all.Â’ After I moved in 1986 from Glendive, I missed our little Â‘Hen HouseÂ’ Wednesday nights, and my close friends. I have never found better friends than I had in Glendive. Harriet will always be in my heart, as one of the best. She was a good example for us all and I will definitely miss this woman.Â” And from HarrietÂ’s best friend, Deb Vogel: Â“Harriet was such a fun, loving, caring friend!! Any time spent with Harriet was far from boring. She loved life and was always learning something new. That twinkle in her eyes was always present, always looking for a new adventure. Our families took a trip to Rapid City, SD in 1984, the 5 Vogels and 4 Carpenters piled into our full size van and we had a blast. Harriet had never been to the Black Hills and she looked out the window in awe and kept saying, Â‘Look at all those trees growing out of the rocks!!!Â’ She was so excited to see the bears in Bear Country and the dolphins at Marine Land. She said, Â‘Can you believe we are only 5 hours from Glendive and seeing all these neat things.Â’ We also had great times when we went to our cabin at the lake. Harriet loved the peace and quiet and she made beautiful sand people. Harriet loved her Rock and Roll and the Oldies. We made a trip to Billings to see Davy Jones of the Monkees, the Shirells, and a few other groups. My kids said, Â‘Mom, Harriet knows all the words to these songs, she is so cool.Â’ Every holiday, big or small, was made special by Harriet. One year for April Fools day, we had blue mashed potatoes. Harriet loved to make gingerbread houses at Christmas, they were decorated so nicely that you didnÂ’t want to eat them but she would say, Â‘I made them for the kids, let them eat it.Â’ Harriet and Cheryl would bake at Christmas time and the mailman, milkman, garbage man, teachers, neighbors and all the family and friends couldnÂ’t wait to get those goodie plates!! It is without a doubt that Harriet could bake the best apple pie in the world according to the Vogel kids. Even after they were married, every holiday they would ask, Â‘Did Harriet make an apple pie?Â’ People always wondered what HarrietÂ’s secret to her good baking was-I know, everything she baked was baked with LOVE!!! HarrietÂ’s embroidery was perfection, her quilt blocks beautiful. When Jessica and Tiffany had babies, they asked if Harriet could make them flannel blankets. Everything Harriet made was made with love. The one thing I will truly miss from my friend, Harriet, is her hugs. When Harriet hugged you, everything was all better. You were the only person she cared about at that time. Harriet loved to meet people, she could talk to anyone and make them feel comfortable. Harriet had so many friends, and she didnÂ’t have a bad word to say about anybody. Harriet was a gem, one of a kind. That mold was truly broken. I love you, Harriet, I will miss you, my friend. Please listen to a few words from HarrietÂ’s grandson, Andrew. As we mentioned, Harriet loved music. The family wanted special music for Harriet today. They asked Tiffany Vogel Laqua to sing because Harriet thought Tiffany sang like an angel. Please listen to Tiffany sing Â“Be Not AfraidÂ”. Song: Â“Be Not AfraidÂ” sung Tiffany Vogel Laqua Celebrant: Closing Yesterday the family had the committal service for HarrietÂ’s cremated remains. Harriet was put to rest with Chuck, her husband, soul mate and love of her life. Her brother, Darwin Jung lies next to Harriet and Chuck, and HarrietÂ’s parents are not far away. Harriet is with family. Some special things happened at yesterdayÂ’s service. HarrietÂ’s grandson, Cody, led everyone in saying the LordÂ’s Prayer. Deb brought colored balloons, 65 of them, one for each year of HarrietÂ’s life, which were released to help send HarrietÂ’s spirit soaring. The song Â“Walk of LifeÂ” by Dire Straits was played, in honor of HarrietÂ’s own walk of life. Harriet enjoyed this song and Cheryl can visualize her mom having fun Â“walking like an EgyptianÂ” as it plays. We will play this song one last time for Harriet at the conclusion of our life tribute service today. And finally, each person at the committal service left their touch with Harriet to honor and thank her for touching their lives. There is no finer tribute to Harriet than the number of people here today to remember her. When Harriet died, she left a hole in our hearts. She was a presence, a reminder of the joys of an exuberant life, a winged creature who walked on earth just to share the experience with others. We mourn our loss of Harriet. Never assume a friend wants to mourn alone. Family and friends of Harriet will need continuing support and comfort in the coming weeks and months. Because Harriet loved holidays, birthdays, and special occasions, her absence will be felt with a fresh sense of loss. Be very present at these times and honor the memory of Harriet. A visit, a phone call, an e-mail lets the family know of the significance Harriet had in your life and that you too, remember Harriet. Harriet Carpenter will be alive for as long as she is remembered, and who could ever forget her? The experiences and memories of HarrietÂ’s life will keep her presence alive into future generations. As we come to the end of our life tribute service for Harriet Carpenter, let us listen to these words that seems appropriate today. Â“You can shed tears that she is gone Or you can smile because she lived. You can close your eyes and pray that sheÂ’ll come back Or you can open your eyes and see all sheÂ’s left. Your heart can be empty because you canÂ’t see her Or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday Or you can be happy for tomorrow, because of yesterday. You can remember her, and only that she is gone Or you can cherish her memory, and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind; be empty and turn your back Or you can do what sheÂ’d want: smile, open your eyes, love, and go on. (Anonymous-printed on the Queen MotherÂ’s funeral program) This concludes Harriet CarpenterÂ’s life tribute service. Please listen to a favorite song of HarrietÂ’s, Â“Walk Of LifeÂ” as you spend a few moments remembering her before leaving. Thank all for being here today.

Harriet Carpenter

October 17, 1941 - May 5, 2007

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Harriet Carpenter

October 17, 1941 - May 5, 2007

What We Do

Flowers & Gifts

Plan Ahead

About Us

Resources

Obituaries

Grief & Healing

Contact Information

365 Days of Grief Support